But Why?

So many of us, growing up, were taught to never question authority figures. An obedient child was one that did exactly what they were told, when they were told, no questions or responses.

We won't get into a debate on how to parent, but I do want us to recognize that for some of us the idea that our questions were rebellious at worst, annoying at best has had lasting effects.

When I began my healing journey, I had no idea of what a healing journey was. At the time, all I could do was cry out to Abba that things would be different. Honestly, at the time, I still believed that my joy, contentment and happiness would come from external circumstances.

And then, one day, as I was crying and fretting over a situation,

I remember the question "Why?" coming from out of nowhere.

Why was this particular thing so distressing for me?

That question opened up a whole new world to me. And a lot more questions.

Where did that belief or idea come from?

What did it mean? Or what did I think it meant?

How was it affecting me? How was I responding to this idea or belief?

Admittedly, I didn't get all the answers, Actually, I got very few of the answers. But it did give me insight into how my emotions were founded on beliefs that weren't based on the Word of God.

I couldn't continue to feel and respond as thought I was abandoned or rejected or unloved if His Word- His very nature- was speaking a completely different story.

In true fleshly nature, I tried to manufacture all the emotions or thoughts, I believed came with trusting Him. But eventually, I threw up my hands and submitted it all to Abba.

The questions aren't meant to lead us to more action plans or to-do lists. They are meant to lead us to the feet of the only One who can renew our minds and give us new hearts.

In my surrendering, I realized that in Christ, I had already been set free, I had already been healed. So, I no longer needed to plead with Abba to set me free from certain thought patterns or healed from past traumas. Instead, I began to pray a new prayer.

How do I walk in this freedom? What does it look like when I live healed?

Just typing those words, brings an excitement to my heart!

Give yourself permission to begin to ask the questions. When you find yourself worried or angry or frustrated or lonely, ask. But why?

This is not a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps to prove to Him what a hard worker you are" situation. He is not a demanding, angry, impatient God. He is not waiting to smite you at the first sign of weakness or questioning.

Our Abba is a patient and loving Father, who longs for us to stop and look to Him. And allow ourselves to, at least, acknowledge that maybe what we feel, think or even believe is not glorifying to Him, or beneficial to Him.

And if this idea of questioning offends or angers you, I ask one thing:

Why?